Yesterday, Nate and I had plans to go for a run in the evening. As usual lately, I backed out. Although part of my reasoning was because it was 9:30 by the time I got home from visiting with a friend and that I’ve been fighting off a cold, I know that really I’ve been looking for excuses.
Whether it’s the time of year and shorter, darker days or that my diet has been horrible, I have no energy whatsoever. Once I’m at work, I have every intention of going home and putting in a good workout. By the time I’m getting to leave work around 4pm, I’m thinking of all of the other things I “need” to do instead of exercise. Sometimes the things I come up with really do need to get done…eventually, but usually they’re just another way of avoiding exercise.
The worst part about the whole ordeal is that I’m caught in the inevitable Catch-22. I don’t want to exercise because I’m tired, but I’m tired because I’m not exercising. I know that’s a fact and I know it wouldn’t take many days of exercising in a row to be energized and enthusiastic again. The hardest part for me is always getting started.
I’m still feeling bad about backing out on the run last night because it’s not very often Nate wants to run. I may have missed my opportunity to turn him into a runner, but I’m hoping not.
I need to figure out why I’m having trouble finding the motivation to get active. I have two races lined up for each of the next two months and the half marathon looming in the future, so I definitely need to be logging some miles. I know how good I felt when I was doing ChaLean Extreme this time last year. Yet, I can’t seem to move. I know what needs to be done, what should be done and how to do it all. I know what my food intake should look like and I certainly know that it hasn’t been anywhere near reasonable lately; in fact, the scale confirmed this information this morning. The sad truth is that I’ve gained ten of those pounds I worked so hard to lose. I want them (and more!) gone again, but I’m afraid I don’t want it bad enough right now.
I’ve signed up for races and bought new running clothes hoping to spark some motivation but unfortunately, the spark was a small one and only for a brief moment. It only took a few hours for me to regret spending money on new running clothes when they aren’t any different than the items I already own and love. I’m returning them today because they’re unnecessary and I’m not in love with any of the pieces; if I loved them, I wouldn’t feel guilty and I wouldn’t even be considering taking them back.
Once the clothes are returned, I’ll be seeking out other sources of motivation. Let the search begin….